“Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued–when they can give and receive without judgement.”

– Brené Brown

The fourth and last of the four areas that is worth fighting for is connection… and there’s more to connection than you think.

#4 – We Need To Fight For Connection

Gary Smalley says that a woman has a natural built-in marriage manual. (So if you want to know what’s wrong with your marriage, ask your wife 🙂 )

This is fascinating because most of the time it’s the woman who comes to us for help, not the man. And 99% of the time she says to us, “I need you to fix my husband.”

Usually, she knows what’s wrong with her marriage, and frequently what she really wants is connection.

She wants to understand his heart… to know him better, and she’s struggling to get there.

And yet, some of the things that she’s trying to do to know him better are actually working against her (a topic for another post).

When it comes to connecting in marriage, there are 3 different ways that we can connect:

1. Body
2. Soul
3. Spirit

1. BODY

An important part of reconnecting, of helping a couple feel close and connected is sex.

Sex also helps a couple to minimize the challenges they’re facing and know that they are one.

Physical intimacy is a beautiful part of marriage that God gave us as a gift where we can mutually please and cherish each other in the midst of our bodies meeting together.

2. SOUL

When I think about connecting at the soul level, Gottman’s 5 magic hours come to mind – which is now 6 magic hours. Spending time together to get to know each other’s hearts, hopes and dreams… that’s connecting at the soul level.

I want to encourage you to fight for connection in your relationship – don’t let this one go. If you’re feeling disconnected or alone in your marriage, that’s a signal that things need to change. Try focusing on connecting in the three areas I’ve outlined above.

However, if you’re feeling stuck in this area, you’re not alone. I can help you regain the connection you long for. Click here to learn more.

Want to read the other blog posts about what is worth fighting about? Click on the posts below:

• Why You Need To Fight For Time Together
• Are You The Most Powerful In The Relationship?
• Why Smart Couples Talk About Responsibilities