11 Ways To Deal With Loneliness At Christmas

by | Dec 20, 2018 | Mindset, Personal Growth

Photo credit: Tyler Delgado on Unsplash

Christmas Memories With Family

Growing up, there were always lots of activities around Christmas and with four other siblings close in age, it was an exciting time of the year.

When we were little, we used to sneak downstairs after our parents had put us to bed and wait for them to fill the stockings…

As a child, I always wondered how they know exactly where we were hiding every single time! (At least 3 of us would try to hide behind the piano together, whispering and shushing each other…)

However, as my siblings grew up and moved away from home, our Christmases changed a lot. During one Christmas in particular, I was the only sibling home for the entire season. I remember thinking that I would be thrilled to have a quiet Christmas with lots of time with my parents.

Boy, was I ever wrong!

Missing My Siblings For Christmas

Turns out, I missed the hustle and bustle of my siblings being home and doing things together. But our Christmases would never be the same again because some of my siblings moved quite far from home…

So as the afternoon of Christmas rolled around, I felt incredibly lonely. Lonesome for my siblings but also lonely because it was quiet at home. Too quiet.

Do you want to know how I coped that Christmas?

Of course, I volunteered to visit sick kids in the hospital and gave generously of my time.

I wish!

How I Dealt With My Loneliness

What I really did is I spent my first and only Christmas night at the movie theatre. Not the most altruistic move, but it helped me to get through that lonely day.

I have no idea what movie I saw and I can’t tell you much else about that day…

I just remember sitting in the theatre and feeling a bit of relief that my mind was distracted for a couple of hours. 

How To Deal With Loneliness At Christmas

That was years ago and that loneliness snuck up on me because it was the first season with so much change. Now that I’ve experienced more holidays — some quite lonely and far from family — I’ve learned a lot more about different ways to deal with loneliness (in addition to late night movies on Christmas!). 

Maybe this Christmas will be a difficult season for you…

It can be one of the hardest times of the year for some people. Especially if you’ve recently lost a loved one either through death, divorce or separation. Or maybe your family relationships are difficult…

Whatever the source of your loneliness is, it can make the holidays challenging.

So to help you cope with the upcoming season, here are 11 quotes that contain suggestions of how to deal with your loneliness this season:  

1. Grow Through Your Loneliness

“There is something of beauty to be learned from every dark and lonely place in our lives. It is in those times of obedience during suffering that we have an opportunity to experience our Father as more than enough. Out of the rough material of our trials, He is more than willing to fashion objects of beauty.”

~ Lisa Bevere

Lisa is a New York Times best-selling author, teacher and founder of Messenger International.

2. Reach Out To Someone

“If you are isolating yourself, stop! Reach out to someone.”

~ Jodi Aman

She is a psychotherapist, YouTuber, speaker and author. Jodi also provides 3 tips for how to deal with loneliness here.

3. Develop Deeper Relationships

“We have all known the loneliness, and we have found that the answer is community.”

~ Dorothy Day

Dorothy was an American journalist, social activist, and Catholic convert.

4. Do Something For Someone Else

“We can all fight against loneliness by engaging in random acts of kindness.”

~ Gail Honeyman

Gail is a Scottish writer.

Photo credit: Nathan Fertig on Unsplash

5. Change Your Perspective

“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.”

~ Christine Caine

Christine is an Australian activist, evangelist, author, international speaker, and co-founder of The A21 Campaign to fight against human trafficking

6. Spend Time With God

“Godly character requires knowing God firsthand. The route to knowing God eventually passes directly through the valley of profound loneliness. It is in the times when there is no one but God that we learn to know Him most fully. Those times – those moments of utter aloneness – come only from emptying our lives into the lives of others.”

Dr. Larry Crabb

Larry is a psychologist, author, Bible teacher, speaker and founder of NewWay Ministries (Excerpt from Encouragement)

7. Be A Friend To Someone Else

“We were not created to live isolated, disconnected lives. That’s why loneliness is so painful. When God created the world and everything in it, he said it was all good, except one thing.  It was not good for the man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). It wasn’t enough that the man had perfect intimacy with God and that he walked and talked with God in the garden. He was still alone and needed human companionship.”  

~ Bruce Carter

Bruce is the Valley View Community Church Pastor (Excerpt from “The Cure for Loneliness”)

8. Take It Moment By Moment

“Some days, 24 hours it too much to stay put in, so I take the day hour by hour, moment by moment. I break the task, the challenge, the fear into small, bite-size pieces. I can handle a piece of fear, depression, anger, pain, sadness, loneliness, illness. I actually put my hands up to my face, one next to each eye, like blinders on a horse.”

~ Regina Brett

Regina is an American author, inspirational speaker and newspaper columnist for The Cleveland Jewish News.

9. Take Care Of Yourself

“Whether you take a relaxing bath and give yourself spa treatments, curl up with a good book, enjoy a hobby, or learn something new, taking time to do things that will enhance your self esteem or at least give you a good dose of fun will not only take your focus off of feeling alone, but it can lift your spirits as well.”

~ Elizabeth Scott, MS

Elizabeth is a wellness coach (Excerpt from Loneliness And The Holidays)

10. Communicate Your Needs To Others

“‘Sometimes we hope others are clairvoyant and become disappointed and feel disconnected and lonely when our needs are not met,’ said Marter, founder of the private counseling practice Urban Balance. It’s important to clearly communicate your needs to others. For instance, you might ask your spouse to give you a hug or your mom to make your favorite dessert.”

~ Margarita Tartakovsky, MS

Margarita is the Associate Editor at Psych Central (Excerpt from Coping With Loneliness During The Holidays)

11. Write Someone A Letter Of Gratitude

“In one famous study, people who wrote a letter of gratitude and delivered it to the recipient experienced an enormous boost in happiness and well-being that lasted a month. Maybe we can all make December that month by writing and delivering a gratitude letter ourselves. Research shows that gratitude is a powerful, simple way to give ourselves mental and even physical health…”

~ Martha Beck on Oprah.com

What Are You Going To Try?

Try one or more of these suggestions to help grow through the loneliness you may face this Christmas.  

But the bottom line is — don’t suffer through the holidays alone. We’re here to help if you need support or encouragement. Reach out to us here today.

About Ann

Ann’s work is centred on the belief that every woman has purpose. So her mission is to empower a community of women to live their extraordinary lives with joy…

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Ann Visser


Women's Mindset & Leadership Coach


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