3 Mindset Shifts To Help You Start Being A Leader In Your Circle

by | Jan 7, 2020 | Mindset, Personal Growth, Relationships

Photo Credit: mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

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#1 – Being A Leader Is A Developed Skill, Not A Natural One

I think the number one reason why many of us don’t lead is simply because we don’t see ourselves as leaders. Instead, we wait in the background for other people who are “born” leaders to come along and inspire, motivate and influence to get things done.

And this thinking leads us to believe that if we don’t have the natural talent to be a leader, then, well, we’ll never have much influence. 

However, Vince Lombardi, NFL Coach and NFL executive says: 

“Leaders are made, not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile.”

I agree with Lombardi. If we have the desire to improve our leadership, then we can increase our ability to influence others through hard work, good examples of leadership and great leadership teaching.

#2 – Leaders Aren’t Above Us, They Grow Intentionally

We can fall into the trap of putting leaders on a pedestal and believe that they’re bigger than us…

They’re superior to us and so we couldn’t possibly be a leader because we’re not like them. We think that we need to influence hundreds or thousands of people to be a leader.

But as Chris Hadfield, the first Canadian astronaut to live aboard the International Space station says:

“Ultimately, leadership is not about glorious crowning acts. It’s about keeping your team focused on a goal and motivated to do their best to achieve it. Especially when the stakes are high and the consequences really matter. It’s about laying the groundwork for others’ success and then standing back and letting them shine.” 

While it’s true that great leaders influence lots of people…

The truth is that they started much smaller and intentionally developed their leadership skills.

And you can too! 

One of the biggest things you need is the desire to grow. And if you consistently develop your personal leadership, then over five, ten or twenty years, your leadership abilities will grow a lot!

Photo Credit: Moose Photos from Pexels

#3 – Being A Leader Means Developing Our Confidence

We as women, in particular, can struggle with our confidence to lead. Women tend to have lower confidence in themselves in general but we may also disqualify ourselves because of these two reasons: 

  1. People’s Opionions: other people’s opinions about women who lead can negatively influence us.
  2. Our Beliefs About Feminity: we may have beliefs that being a leader means being strong, whereas we associate being feminine as being weak. 

I want to challenge the last statement — I believe that women can lead and should lead.

We need to take our place alongside men to lead together.

Now, if you’re still feeling like you’re not a leader, then let’s look at how a slight mindset shift could change your perspective. 

Photo Credit: Anastasia Petrova on Unsplash

What Does Being A Leader Mean?

Here are some key qualities of leadership. Leaders have…

STRENGTHthey make a lot of decisions and are constantly problem-solving

DREAMSthey see more than others, before others can see things. Leaders need to have a vision for where they’re leading people. 

BRAVERY — they make difficult decisions that not everyone will like and bear the brunt of others’ displeasure.

HUMILITY they are free from arrogance and superiority because they need to listen to people, feel with others and not see themselves as above anyone. They can’t let their position create an ego. 

PASSIONthey need to be part of the team and inspire others in a way that helps the organization to achieve their ultimate goals.

Photo Credit: Prateek Katyal on Unsplash

How You Can Shift Your Mindset Around Who Is A Leader

The place to start is by looking at what leadership is because as we begin to see ourselves as a leader, then we’ll start to step into the influence we already have. This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy where over time, we reinforce our belief that we are a leader because we’re stepping up to the plate. 

So how can we create a this positive self-fulfilling prophecy? Here are two practical mindset shifts we can make!


We’ll use John Maxwell’s definition: “Leadership is influence. Nothing more, nothing less.” This means that if you influence others… if you’re in a family, for instance, then you have leadership!


Once we begin to shift our mindset around what leadership means, we need to start changing the way we think about who is a leader.

Start looking around you to see where you have influence. 

Here are some other examples where you might have influence: 

  • Close friends
  • Spouse
  • Children
  • Bible group you’re leading
  • Kids at school if you teach
  • Work team you lead
  • People you influence through your business
  • People in your community
  • Through social media or other places online 

Once you identify where you have influence, you can become more intentional about developing your leadership and become more effective at influencing the people around you in positive ways. 

Want to learn how to inspire, motivate and influence more people?

In our NEW mastermind you’ll learn how to develop the leader within you so you can inspire, motivate and influence others better. 

Which of the two mindset shifts mentioned above will you work on? Share the number in the comments below! We love to hear from you.

About Ann

Ann’s work is centred on the belief that every woman has purpose. So her mission is to empower a community of women to live their extraordinary lives with joy…

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Ann Visser


Mindset Coach


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