3 Reasons Why Personal Growth Is NOT Selfish

by | Nov 15, 2018 | Mindset, Personal Growth

Investing In Your Growth Isn’t Selfish

Have you ever felt selfish for taking the time to invest in your own growth?

I have at times… Years ago, I used to think that if I took any time for myself, then I wasn’t pouring into other people (my husband, my kids, my friends, my work, etc) and I wasn’t being a giving person — I was being selfish.

Now, I know that the opposite is true.

There is nothing selfish about working on personal growth and here are 3 reasons why…

#1. Growth Allows You Keep Moving Toward Your Dreams

Growth is like a muscle; the more we use it, the more we’re able to keep moving forward toward our dreams.

The opposite is also true. The less we grow, the more we will feel stuck and the harder it will be to reach our goals and our dreams.

More specifically, learning how to access our subconscious mind is one important aspect of growth.

The brain is essentially made up of two parts:

  1. Thinking mind
  2. Emotional mind

Our thinking mind is the logical side where we make decisions and judgements.

Second, the emotional part of our mind is part of the limbic system, which is also called the “emotional brain”. The amygdala is part of the limbic system and this is where our brain stores painful events and it can remember them for a long time. This part of our brain seeks to protect us and keep us safe.

Why We Need To Become Aware Of Unconscious Thoughts And Beliefs

In their book, Soul Healing Love, Drs. Beverly & Tom Rogers talk about how when the emotional part of the brain takes over, it actually hijacks the thinking brain, so any reasoning or creative problem-solving fly out the window. As a result, the rational part of our brain becomes completely immobilized.

However, our self-image lives in the emotional part of the brain, so it’s essential that we learn how to tap into it.

This is where our internal story for what we believe and how we think about ourselves lives.

As we learn to access this, we will gain greater awareness about why we say and do the things that we do.

Often, it’s our emotional brain that is tipping the scales; it is literally hijacking the front part of our brains and disabling us from doing what we really want to do or know we should do.

So a key part of personal growth is becoming aware of our unconscious beliefs and thoughts that may or may not be true, so we can grow into our potential.

Internal Stories That Guide Our Actions 

These are the internal stories that we tell ourselves that we may not even be aware of… but are guiding our everyday choices and actions.

Our unconscious beliefs and thoughts create our unique story — but it may not be a story we like!

And it may not be the story we really want to be living.

However, growing into our potential changes everything; it enables us to intentionally create the unique story that we want for our lives so we can become the best version of ourselves.

Personal growth enables us to do things we never thought we’d be able to do.

#2. Growth Allows You To Make Tomorrow Better

Whether you’re dealing with a difficult relationship or you want a promotion at work or you want to become a better speaker or teacher…

Whatever you want to do, tapping into your emotional brain to become more aware of your internal thoughts and beliefs will enable you to reach further into the potential that God has for you.

John Maxwell says, “Improvement through growth is the only guarantee that tomorrow will be better.”

So, if you’re feeling stuck or you don’t like where you are, growth is the path to get you unstuck, moving forward and on to where you want to go.

On the flip side, if you’re “hoping” that tomorrow will be different but you’re not actually growing, then you will likely be disappointed since hope doesn’t move us forward unless we’re also taking practical steps of action.

3. Growth Allows You To Make A Bigger Difference

You can’t give away what you don’t have; this is a simple principle that spurs me to continually learn and grow.

Do you dream of making a difference?

Maybe you want to see some changes in your family or maybe you have bigger dreams of having a lasting impact in your community because you see so much need around you…

Whatever your dream is, personal growth is the vehicle that will help you get there.

When you take a step to grow each day, you keep moving closer and closer to your dream — and that’s exciting!

So, in order to care for the people around us and to keep making a difference in our world, we need to continually grow.

We Choose How Much We Grow

Because I’m a person of faith, I believe that each human being is gifted with unique skills, talents and abilities from birth. Everything that we need has already been given to us and each person has the choice of how much they actually use these gifts.

It’s like receiving a big gift for your birthday that’s filled with tons of amazing things inside.

All you need to do to enjoy the gifts is to open it and discover what’s in the box.

Now, you could do two things:

  • First, open it and enjoy the gifts! That’s the most logical choice. And this is what personal growth is like.
  • Second, not open the gift and never use what’s inside. This seems rather silly but choosing NOT to grow is like never opening a gift you receive.

I could tell you all the amazing gifts that are in the box and get you really excited but if you never open the box, you won’t gain any benefits from the gift.

Take The Next Step In Growth

I hope that this article has helped to clear any doubt you may have been feeling about whether investing in personal growth is selfish.

So where do you start? Right where you are at!

There is no perfect starting point — the most important part of personal growth is to get started today.

One simple thing that you could do is to write out a list of all the “I shoulds” you have in your head. We often have an internal dialogue of these constantly running through our minds. I should…

  • Call my friend
  • Eat healthier
  • Spend more time with my spouse
  • Apply for that promotion and so on…

First, just write them all down on a piece of paper to get them out of your head. Then go through the list and choose the easiest and smallest one to do, and start working on it today.

Why the smallest and easiest? Because it will help you to get going and you’ll feel good about starting.

Second, after you’ve finished one thing on the list, choose the next smallest and easiest thing and get started on that.

And then just keep growing!

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About Ann

Ann is on a mission to equip Christian women to communicate confidently and clearly for a closer connection. The good news? Communication is a skill so anyone can learn it even if you’re struggling to communicate right now. Want to communicate more clearly and confidently?…

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Ann Visser


Life Coach


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